The Information (P)Age
On this page we will be telling you about things that don't fit anywhere else
and answering any questions you might ask us.
What Else Do You Do?
other things have Beatnik Filmstars members been involved in over the years...
RECORD LABEL RUN BY THE GROOVE FARM:
RAVING POP BLAST!
(1986 - 1990)
number / artist / title / format/
RPBGF 1 : The Groove Farm : Sore Heads & Happy Hearts EP (7")
RPBGF 2 : The Groove Farm : Sheep-Brained Poltroon EP (7")
RAVE 1T : The Groove Farm : Hate Us & We'll Love You To Death EP (12")
RAVE 5 LP : The Groove Farm : Plug (The Story Of Pop) (LP)
RAVE 11 FX : The Family : What Frank Said (7" Flexi Disc)
RAVE 12T : The Groove Farm : Present EP (12")
RAVE 16 FX : The Velvet Crush : Walking Out on Love / The Golden
Dawn : The Sun Never Shines (7" Flexi Disc)
RAVE 20 : The Groove Farm : Bagism EP (7")
Some Raving pop blast cat numbers were given to a fanzine 'The Fine Art
Of Shoplifting' made by friends and members of the band, and sold at Groove
Farm gigs, and via their mailing list. There were (I think) 9 issues in total.
RECORD LABELS RUN BY BEATNIK FILMSTARS:
BIG SKY (1991-1992)
number / artist / title / format
BIG SKY 001 : Beatnik Filmstars : Maharishi (LP)
BIG SKY 002 : Tramway : Technical College (5" Flexi Disc)
MOBSTAR RECORDS
They co released (with Red Square Records in the US) The first album by GRAVENHURST
'Internal Travels'. Sales in France were good, but the rest of the world failed to notice.
Later of course Gravenhurst signed to the Warp label, and journalists were falling
over themselves to say nice things, despite none of the records being anywhere near as
good as 'Internal Travels'
THE MOBSTAR CATALOGUE:
Number / Artist / Title / Format .
001 : Beatnik Filmstars : Bigot Sponger Haircut Policy (7" White Vinyl / Re Press Blue Vinyl)
002 : Airbomb Repeater : Airbomb Repeater EP (7" Blue vinyl)
003 : Beatnik Filmstars : New Boyfriend & Black Suit (7" Red Vinyl)
004 : Vision On : Who's Afraid Of De Wolfe? EP (7" Green Vinyl)
005 : Beatnik Filmstars : Beezer (Vinyl LP / CD split release with Slumberland)
006 : Beatnik Filmstars : Supremer Queener (7" White Vinyl)
007 : Various: Mangerman (Christmas Compilation) (Cassette) (Later AS CDR )
008 : Phase 3 (CD Album)
009 : Beatnik Filmstars : All Popstars Are Talentless Slags (10" LP)
010 : Beatnik Filmstars : Showbiz (VHS Video)
011 : Various : Eleven (CDR Album)
012 : Beatnik Filmstars : Chicago Noize (Live Radio Session) (CDR Mini Album)
013 : Kyoko : One : Mini (CD Album)
014 : Beatnik Filmstars : Maharishi (CDR Album)
015 : The Groove Farm : Totally Total (CDR Album)
016 : Kyoko : 17 Stitches (7")
017 : Gravenhurst : Internal Travels (CD Album)
018 : The Groove Farm : The Best Parts (CD Album)
019 : Various : Pop Frenzy Weekender (official non official bootleg) (CDR Album)
021 : Various : Viva Mobstar! (CD Album)
022 : Various : Christmas With Mobstar (Cassette / CDR Album)
023 : Various : Hopping On The West Coast (Tribute To Bristol Music) (CD Album)
024 : Airbomb Repeater : Murdersville EP (7" Purple Vinyl)
025 : The Bluebear : Food Fight At The Last Chance Saloon (CD Album)
026 : The Bluebear : Brain Dead A & R Man Blues EP (CDR Free with Album)
027 : Orange Cake Mix : Warm Velvet Static (CDR Album)
028 : Forest Giants : Closure (CDR EP)
029 : A Boy Named Thor : No Cult Girlfriend EP (7" Yellow Vinyl)
THE INTERNATIONAL LO-FI UNDERGROUND
Woof 1 : Beatnik Filmstars : (A Collection Of Oddities) (CD Album)
Woof 2 : Various : Honey, The Dog's Home (CD Album)*
Woof 3 : Forest Giants : Things We Do When We're Bored *
Woof 4 : Beatnik Filmstars : Shenaniganism (Tape Hiss & Other Imperfections) (CD Album)
Woof 5 : Beatnik Filmstars : Left Hooks (Songs That Got Nowhere) (CD Album) *
Woof 6 : Beatnik Filmstars : A Box Of Light Entertainment (6 CD Box Set) *
Woof 7 : The Short Stories : For Long Nights (CD Album) *
Woof 8 : (The) Nervous Rex : We're A Garage Band From Modern England (CD Album) *
Woof 9 : The Short Stories : The Night Is On Fire (CD Album) *
Woof 10: (The) Nervous Rex : (The) World Of (The) Nervous Rex *
Bark 1 : Beatnik Filmstars : Curious Role Model (CD EP)*
Bark 2 : Beatnik Filmstars : Wild Eyed Restless & Free (CD EP)*
Wag 1 : Forest Giants : More Things We Do When We're Bored (CD Album Free with Woof 3)*
* Professionally made but burned discs rather than pressed.
SATISFACTION RECORDINGS
Satisfied 001 : Beatnik Filmstars : The Purple Fez 72 Club Social (CD Album)
Satisfied 002 : Slow Decay /Crushed (7" Single & Download)
Satisfied 003 : Broken Bones (Download Mini Album)
NOT ONLY...BUT ALSO
Tim, before Beatnik Filmstars had a band called The Five Year Plan, who's bass player
Rob was in the early line up of Talulah Gosh, and later was a member of Heavenly,
Marine Research and now Tender Trap (all with Amelia Fletcher).
The Five Year Plan released two singles;
'Hit The Bottle' (7" Breaking Down Records)
'Brand New Car' (12" Breaking Down Records)
they also appeared on some compilation LP's
AIRSPACE / See You In Heaven (Breaking Down Records)
AIRSPACE II THE SEQUAL / Pumpin' For Jill (With Choo Choo Train) (Breaking Down Records)
Tim and Tom both played in Forest Giants, and Tim Is currently in The Short Stories
Andrew appears on the album
STEWARD : 'Horselaugh On My Ex' (555 Recordings)
He plays Gnat synth and vocals on 'You Have Too Much Time On Your Hands'
And vocals on : 'Golden Years Squandered'
FACT!
Tim, John (Austin), Andrew & Jon (Kent) used to run the 'Heaven Up Here' nights in Bristol.
They started at The Prince Rupert, and then moved to The Louisiana. They were the first
'promoters' to use The Louisiana for putting on gigs. Now of course it is part of every
new up and coming band in the country's first tour, and a place where local bands play
regular. Often at 'Heaven Up Here' nights, you would be asked a 'Pop Trivia' question on the
way in. If you got it right, your entrance fee would be reduced!
FACT!
The Groove farm once spent hours at a show (in Bath), trying to tune a 1960's Vox Organ
to their guitars, instead of the guitars to the Vox organ! They really were absolute beginners!
FACT!
The Groove Farm once had the power cut during a performance in Newcastle, when the pub they
were playing in (they were in a room upstairs, where the Woosh Club was run) was over taken by
skinheads! The landlady switched the power off mid song and Andrew remarked, "Oh, it's just like
The Stone Roses on the Late Show" (where the power failed) Someone shouted back "No it's not
mate, you were singing in tune!" The landlady said everyone had to get out as quickly as possible,
adding in her own unique way... "There hundreds of the fookers, and they's big bas***ds too"
The band fled down the fire escape. Jez (Butler) virtually throwing his drums down the steps!
FACT!
Andrew & former Beatnik John (Austin) once appeared on a radio show as guests in Berlin during the Beatnik
Filmstars last German tour before they stopped playing for seven years, in 1998. They were asked to choose
some records they liked, and amongst the discs played was Hank Williams 'Long Gone Lonesome Blues' They
mentioned the section of the song where Hank does a sort of 'Morrissey yodel'. The DJ then set a competition
for listeners to phone in and 'Yodel like Hank Williams' to win tickets to the Beatniks show that night. Both John
& Andrew didn't expect a single caller and were shocked when all the phone lines suddenly lit up! "Don't do it"
they kept saying, "Don't humiliate yourselves", But to no avail. ..and to make matters worse, they were then
given the task of choosing the best three!
MORE 'INTERESTING' FACTS SOON...
.
Questions And Answers
Here is an interview the band did in March of this year (2009) for a fanzine ' Donkey Rides' that failed to
get past the starting blocks... we thought you might enjoy reading it...
Q; WHAT IS THIS WHOLE NEW DIRECTION ALL ABOUT?
TIM : It's about growing gracefully.
ANDREW; Hardly new is it?, we've just cut out a few of the things we used to do, the more
manic pop sounding stuff. The songs off of 'Fez' could just as easy be on any of our other
albums. We've tried to make the sound a bit better, that's all.
Q; WOULD YOU EVER RE-RECORD ANY OF YOUR OLD SONGS?
TOM; I'd love to re-record 'Now I'm A Millionaire' as the version on 'In Hospitalable' has
really awful drumming. I think Andrew told me that I recorded a really great version of the
drums, which they lost, so they used a rough demo! The song itself is great, but the drumming
really annoys me. I also wished I'd drummed on 'Supremer Queener' as it's one of my favourite
Beatniks songs, and naturally because of this it's also one of Andrew's most hated! I'd just
joined the band, but because of their distrust of drummers brought on by a bad experience
with my immediate predecessor, I was not trusted so early on to drum on a recording, so
Andrew did it, and he does a great job. I just wished it was me drumming.
GEOFF; Shepherd's Breath, we just have re-recorded. It fits nicely with the latest songs.
ANDREW; Tom, you did drum on the later version of Supremer Queener, which is a far better version.
Q; ANY BEATNIKS SONGS YOU HATE?
TIM; No, of course not!
TOM; I really hated 'Steve A' and 'Tennancy Hustle Blues' Naturally because they're my most
hated, they are also Andrew's favourites! They're both off of the same album (Boss Dosque).
I like the album, but not those songs.
ANDREW; Except they are not my favourite songs, not even close. In fact,I don't really like
them either! I hate most of the songs on 'Laid Back & English' but mainly 'Sick' - it's just
embarrassing shouty drivel. And I really hate 'Sub-D-D-Disco' as well. Utter s**t! I know what I
was trying to achieve, but I completely failed. There's loads I hate. I Could be here all night...
MAURICE; That one about the cowboy, haircut, dogs...or something...
GEOFF; No, Honestly. There's a few i don't understand which is more preferable.
Q; WHAT'S THE NEW ALBUM TITLE ALL ABOUT?
TOM; F*** knows! I think it's a club in Devon Andrew used to go to.
TIM; Ask Andrew
ANDREW; Err, how do i explain? The 72 stands for the year 1972. The Purple Fez was a
nightclub that I think was around in the 60's, early 70's and no, I never went to it, I would
have been a mere baby. The idea was that it was supposed to be like a band from now
transported back in time, playing in a social club in 1972, and the audience sitting there
looking completely confused. (Laughs) Well, that was my thinking behind it anyway.
Q; WHERE ARE YOU PLANNING TO TAKE THE MUSIC FROM HERE?
TIM; All the way down Route 66, if I have anything to do with it.
TOM; Tim's got plans to take us down Route 66, which is a great idea. Stewart (Boyracer)
lives in Flagstaff, which is on Route 66. Me and my girlfriend stopped in Flagstaff for a
night in 2007 on our way to Yellowstone, It was a really nice atmosphere, it would be nice
to play there. We didn't tell Stewart, as Andrew said he'd probably give us loads of 555
records to carry back to Blighty!
ANDREW; Well, I think the split seven inch (with Boyracer) was just out, so you'd have had
to carry a small box of singles, hardly an effort! I think the next album will be kind of weird,
I can almost hear it in my head, and it sounds frightening.
TOM; I wouldn't have had room for my wobbly head Quick Draw McGraw model, and all the other
useless tat I brought home..
TIM; Why have you never showed me Quick Draw McGraw?, I love that guy.
CAN YOU EXPLAIN THE MEANING BEHIND 'KITTENS AND CATS'?
TIM; No, But Andrew hates cats, so perhaps it's a discussion about which is the lesser of two
evils?
ANDREW; I am allergic to cats, hardly the same as hating them is it? The song is simply about
analysing games.
TIM; I love those games! Like, what would you rather have, David Berman's head on Dawn Landes'
body, or Dawn Lande's head on David Berman's body...?
ANDREW; Very stupid. I hate them.
Q; TELL US ABOUT THE NEW SINGLE
ANDREW; 'Slow Decay' is one of my favourite new songs. The other side 'Crushed' scares me a bit,
makes me feel a bit sick. Tim's banjo playing , the first time he's ever done any, is pretty impressive .
I like the words on Slow Decay.
TOM; I think it's great, The guitar solo on 'Crushed' makes me laugh every time i hear it. It reminds
me of the theme to Ski Sunday (an old BBC TV programme about skiing...on Sundays)or some 60's
game show music.
TIM; I thinks it's one of the best things the band has ever done. There's a real energy about 'Crushed'
but not in a loud guitars thrashing about sort of way. I laughed out loud at the brilliance of the
guitar solo. The other side is good too, it has some very average banjo playing on it.
ANDREW; All this laughing out loud at the guitar solo is just making me feel more sick.
Q; THE SONG 'NURSE MY HEAD' IS LIKE SOMETHING OFF THE FIRST ALBUM, HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?
ANDREW; Songs are just songs, they turn out however they turn out.
TIM; It was written by the same person, which helps...
Q; DID YOU MEAN 'NURSE MY HEAD' AS LIKE A REQUEST TO HAVE YOUR HEAD NURSED, OR IS IT
MORE OF A NURSE!!! MY HEAD HURTS...KIND OF THING?
ANDREW; What an odd question. Jerry (old Beatnik bass player) asked me that as well...
GEOFF; Do you know what, I asked this question as well, and no one could tell me the answer.
The fact that you have asked this as well means we need an answer. People out there obviously need
to know.
ANDREW; You've never asked me...The answer by the way, was the first one. I told Jerry it was a
strange question to ask, especially as he tells me he never listens to the words, but this caught
his attention! After all the songs I've made up, it seems bizarre that this one, everyone wants to
know what the words are all about...
MAURICE; Ok, but it still works as a double meaning. You've got that 'Carry On' voice shouting
'Nurse! My Head!' in the background, while the real meaning is obvious in the lyrics - makes it
more poingant, at least to my mind...
Q; WHAT ABOUT THE VIDEO FOR THE SONG, WALKING AROUND WITH A STEPLADDER,
TELL US ABOUT THAT
ANDREW; Tom's idea, and a good one at that.. Although the best bits are on the cutting room
floor, with Tim over-acting reading a map!. The police got us for lurking about in a field next to
the airport, well, when i say 'got us' I mean politely asked us what we were doing. In case we
happened to be terrorists!
TOM; One of my favourite videos is 'Enjoy The Silence' by Depeche Mode, I just love the idea of
Martin Gahan walking around dressed as a king carrying a deckchair and setting up fantastic view
points to survey the view. The stepladder film is a lo-fi homage to that. I also wanted to film
something simple without too many people in it to coordinate. Myself, Tim and Andrew did the
filming at various places in Bristol. It took ages, most of the summer of 2008. It was mainly
Tim, me and Andrew having arguments in fields, and listening to Andrew moaning about having to
walk miles and carry a stepladder! Tim and I did tell him he'd be too hot in that coat!
TIM; The aeroplane bit is masterful, we almost got arrested filming it.
ANDREW; I wasn't moaning, and Depeche Mode? Seriously? They were a bit rubbish weren't they?
And surely it was Dave not Martin, the one who tries to kill himself every time they release a new
record.
TOM; You're right, it was Dave, not Martin. I'm Not a Depeche Mode fan per se, Just liked the video,
although 'Everthing Counts in Large amounts' that was a good one.
ANDREW; 'Just Can't Get Enough' was their best song, after Vince Clarke they couldn't write words
very well...'New Life' that's another good one.
Q; BACK TO THE BEATNIKS...WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE BEATNIKS SONG?
ANDREW; 'Hospital Ward' probably the closest thing to a perfect song I'm likely to ever get.
TOM; 'Supremer Queener', I really like 'Cold' too. That should have been a Christmas No. 1 in 2007.
GEOFF; Undoubtedly 'Pirates' a really classy number. I think the first bass line I'd made up from scratch,
and Andrew's trumpet lines written on a Casio, which when Belinda came to play on a trumpet nearly
collapsed her lungs, as he hadn't thought about gaps for breathing! It's also the subject of one of
the funniest films of us trying, three times to play it live, and failing, by starting way too fast. Most
of all though, it reminds me of playing Pirates as a kid.
TIM; 'Coup De Soeil' I decided that a long time ago and I'm sticking with it, otherwise it's a quagmire!
ANDREW; I don't believe that for one cotton pickin' second!
TIM; It's the truth! Can we re-record it? I love the way the song gives out heat.
ANDREW: I always thought the record sounded warped, it could be we didn't tune the
guitars before we recorded it!
MAURICE; Nurse My Head, Wrong and Death Of A Lottery Winner.
Q; WHAT'S THE BRISTOL MUSIC SCENE CURRENTLY LIKE?
TIM; You might as well ask me what it's like to be on Top Of The Pops.
ANDREW; Top Of The Pops, doesn't actually exist anymore, you do know that don't you?
TOM; Not really sure, don't get out so much these days. It still seems quite eclectic, but
doom metal and punk seem popular with the kids.
ANDREW; No one has ever been better than The Brilliant Corners in Bristol. From
'Tangled Up in Blue' to 'Joy Ride' after that it went... well, dodgy to be honest...but really, a very
under-rated band. You can see, I'm a bit out of touch with local bands...
TOM; I really liked Brilliant Corners: 'Growing Up Absurd' and the 'Fruit Machine' EP. I
was in a band once with Davy Woodward's brother Andy.
ANDREW; 'Fruit Machine' EP is one of the greatest records ever, 'Meet Me On Tuesdays'
the bit where the trumpet comes in, just hits you, spot on, every time...Oh, we've turned
this into a Brilliant Corners appreciation society club meeting again...
Q; YOU DO GET OVERLOOKED WHEN EVER THERE'S ANY THING BEING DISCUSSED
ABOUT BRISTOL MUSIC, WHY IS THIS, DO YOU DELIBERATELY KEEP OUT OF THE SCENE,
OR ARE YOU JUST FORGOTTEN ABOUT?
ANDREW; Yep, forgotten, despite everything we've done for the Bristol Music scene.
TIM; Forgotten about, and we're very cross about it!
GEOFF; I'd like to convince you it was deliberate, but...
Q; ARE FOR FOR ANIMAL RIGHTS AS THE SONG ANIMAL CRAKERS WOULD SUGGEST?
TIM; Don't even go there. The debate about the lyrics has gone on long enough. Yes we're
for animal rights, no we don't think all butchers will really go to hell, how can they?, hell
doesn't exist.
ANDREW; Some people missed the point. It was about how I can't understand how a person
can believe in God and yet still be happy for animals to be killed. God surely would not
approve of killing. Animals do have feelings as well you know, and if you stick a knife
into a dog, it will hurt and it will bleed. We, humans are just an animal ourselves when you
think about it, we have no right to kill other living creatures, and please don't bring up
the food chain argument which is rubbish. Lions kill etc etc, ok yes they do, but A. humans
have supposedly more intelligence than other animals, and B. if we are going to eat other
creatures, then we should kill them ourselves, face to face so to speak, no machinery, no
weapons. A lion doesn't shoot it's prey, or nip to Asda and buy a pre-packed chicken.
We should go to the supermarket, choose the cow we wish to eat, from a selection of live
cows, and then have to kill it with our bare hands or teeth, which would be interesting!
Then I wouldn't be so bothered about it, It would seem a fairer way...And a heck of a lot of
meat eaters would suddenly become vegetarians. People just eat it, because it's there.
It's easy.
MAURICE; Hang on Andrew! How do you know what God would and would not approve of?
Who the hell knows? Isn't that what religious bigotry is all about - People assuming divine
authority and imposing their opinions on other people? I respect your views, but don't tell
me it's God's Will or whatever...
ANDREW; You're completely right, I'm just going by what we are told, God Is Love, God is
good etc...I'm not saying it's God's will. It's other people telling me it's God's will for us to
eat animals, I've actually heard Christians claim God gave us the animals so we could eat
them. How can anyone know this? They only say this because they want to eat meat.
All I'm saying is there are hypocrites who will stand in a church singing 'All Creatures
great and small, the Lord God made them all' Then they go home and eat a beautiful little
lamb. The two things don't fit together, that's all I meant... I mean, I might be wrong but I don't
recall the hymn going on to say he made them for us humans to brutally murder and cook to
stuff our fat faces with.. Anyway, If you want to eat animals that's your choice, I've never said
don't. Although I think it would be a nicer world if we didn't kill animals, which are really like small
children, they need us to look after them, and what do we do? ... Typical human selfishness, me
me me, I'm important nothing else matters. Jesus! I hate the human race.
TIM; There is no God, Stop talking about her as if she was real. Father Christmas however is real,
I was able to track him using the NORAD satellite early warning system this year. He's a vegan.
Q; IF YOU WERE TRYING TO EXPLAIN TO SOMEONE WHAT YOU SOUND LIKE,
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY.
ANDREW; We came up with the term 'Grim Decay' that probably sums it up. Actually I'd say, buy a
CD and find out you lazy cheapskate!
GEOFF; Like a cheap chandelier falling down some stairs.
TOM; Personally, I sound like a miserable old git, who's shoes squeak when I walk.
Q; WHAT DOES SUCCESS MEAN TO YOU?
TOM; I've given up trying to make a career out of music, but continuing to produce music
that I feel is good is my benchmark of success. I'm very proud of being in the Beatniks and
what we've done. Being appreciated always makes doing what you enjoy doing a lot more
worthwhile. After all, we all like to be appreciated occasionally.
ANDREW; Doing the things you enjoy doing. I think bands who have never 'made it big' can
still be seen as being successful, if they have done something that has touched someone's life
in some way. The amount of letters and messages we have received over the years, I know we
have meant a lot to a number of people. It's just that number of people is far less than say, The
Beatles or someone, but it doesn't mean it's any less important. To receive letters from people
all over the world telling you how much they like your music, or certain songs. That is successful,
and anyone who tells you it's not is a nutter. It's an amazing achievement if you ask me.
I can't deny, to have made some proper money out of playing music would have been very nice,
but it's not the be all and end all... Although certain people will tell you that making money is the
important thing, and that I am talking rubbish. In fact more people will tell you that. My views are
in the minority I'm sure.
Q; IF YOU COULD LIVE ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD IT BE?
TOM: I went to Italy a while back and I loved it. The people were really laid back, the history is
amazing, and they invented the Lambretta, so there. Or Ireland. There are too many rules in
England, it's becoming oppressive.
ANDREW; Very dull to say, but for me, Bristol just right.
TIM; Monkey Mia, Western Australia, for a while at least...
ANDREW; You're just saying that because of the name, 'Cause it has monkey in the title.
MAURICE; Monkey Mia! That sounds like a musical, with primates.
Q; IF YOU COULD CHANCE ANY ONE THING ABOUT YOURSELF WHAT WOULD IT BE?
ANDREW; Way to many things to pick just one, but I'd want my hair to be like it was when I was
younger for a start. That Groove Farm picture in the garden, where we're looking up at the camera,
that's my best hair ever, i miss it!
TIM; I'd make myself taller and have a quiff.
GEOFF; I'd take those stupid breast implants back..
TOM; I'd like to be more excitable
ANDREW; My nervous system as well, I'd change that.
LASTLY THE QUICK FIRE ROUND WHERE EACH PERSON IS GIVEN A SHEET OF PAPER TO FILL IN
THE MISSING ANSWER IN LESS THAN TEN WORDS...
AMERICA HAVING A BLACK PRESIDENT WILL...
ANDREW; Hopefully not end in tears
TIM; Happen soon
GEOFF; Ultimately disappoint almost everyone
MAURICE; Finally replace that f***wit Bush.
TOM; Make America seem less insular and more forward thinking.
OVER RATED WOULD BE A WAY TO DESCRIBE...
TIM; Celibacy
GEOFF; Most cheese
ANDREW; Downloading music
TOM; Tin openers, I hate mine with a passion
MAURICE; Sales persons
THERE ARE TOO MANY...
TIM; Sheep
ANDREW; Easily led people
MAURICE; Broken hearts in the world?
TOM; Insects
Geoff; Words in this particular answer, I've counted them and there are fifteen including this one.
THE RECESSION WILL...
ANDREW; Become a boring topic of conversation.
MAURICE; Be unpredictable
GEOFF; Teach a whole generation the value of money
TIM; Help me claim benefit
TOM; Bring capitalism to it's knees
THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH...
GEOFF; Natural habitats in cities for bees and birds
ANDREW; Crisps in a bag
MAURICE; Cans in my fridge
TIM; Weekends
TOM; Bank holidays in the UK
UNDER-RATED WOULD BE A WAY TO DESCRIBE...
TIM; Owning more guitars than is sensible
ANDREW; Silence
GEOFF; Silence
ANDREW; He's put the same as me, That's not allowed!
TOM; 15 Stories High, a great British sitcom that only got two series.
RELIGION IS THE...
GEOFF: Moral code for people with small imaginations
MAURICE; Excuse
ANDREW; Most destructive thing ever
TIM; Plaything of the rich
TOM; Excuse for people to persecute each other.
WHEN YOU DIE...
MAURICE; It had better have been worth it.
TIM; Play the songs I have determined should be played at my wake
GEOFF; You'd better have paid me that tenner you owe me first
TOM; Make sure you have clean underpants on
ANDREW; Nothing will bother you ever again.